Midlife Crises

This is considered a guy thing, you get to go insane at the age of 45 and no one thinks worse of you. My friend, known at the forum as Powerslide gave me a lot of good tips on this subject, and I have indeed followed his advises extremely well on my trip. He said he has stretched his for five years now, and still going strong at it. I hope I have learned enough to do the same.

Every good midlife crises demands an idiotic car, a blond in the front seat, and a stupid, stupid plan that can not be followed. I had one of them down by nature, so only a car was missing and the planning being my forte, I had this all down.

Car, the blond and most of all a wallet full of cards were packed and a complete 180 from normal life was ready be experienced. A friend played my travel agent, I contacted him every time when I finally hit the wall with the roads, and needed a bed and a drink or a minute or two with an internet connection. A great arrangement, I literally have no idea what my credit card bill will say next month, since I handed over numbers to him and told him to deal with it. Oh well, after the car, who's counting?

 I took the time to think what I'm to do next with my life, what I want to do, and what is needed to make the necessary changes to achieve them. I, like many others think best when I have an other thing going on, and the will to live comes clear just about two seconds before one realizes that the bloody Candy has once again changed the kilometers to miles, and the corner is really not that fast and the slide down the rocky mountain will be one of speed if something is not done now.

Too many have commented that 32 is too young to have this particular crises, but I disagree. Hell, my time away was insanely fun. I call this in public my AD, American delivery, but truth is, the crises is now in full fling!

 I did everything stupid on this trip, today a tire had a nail in it, and instead of driving to the good part of town, I headed straight to a biker bar to get advice. No idea what could have gone wrong with that one, but sure as hell I enjoyed getting a bearded escort showing me the way to the tire store! As a way to arrive, an epic one.

Thanks again boys with beards and bad attitudes, you were great gentleman after the tit conversation was done, and help indeed was needed!

All my trip I tried to get a photo of this idiotic contraption, and finally a rest area provided me one. You can see these everywhere, something huge and slow towing an other, that is huge and slow. A destination car. I thought we Europeans had the sole privilege of camper vans and other road blocks, but doing this 9 000 kilometers on your roads have proven me wrong. The idiocy one sees here is beyond ours. We just are stuck driving behind something that moves slower than the idiot cousins speech at the wedding you never wanted to go to. Here, they park on the left lane, over taking trucks that eventually give the rest of us a break and just slow down enough that the thing towing something stupid can actually pass them by. Of course this is always happening in the only corner for miles, and I can only picture the truck drivers face when he sees that in the mirrors. Sorry guys, I will never ever blame you for destroying my runs, now I know better.

Other thing that pisses me off and after the first dozen times stopped being funny was men, grown ass men leaving their cards, contact info's and so on on my car. Every bloody morning someone, or more than one cards were on the wipers, door handles, what ever, and always with something nice written to it to help me remember their names.

"Hi, it's John/ Patric/ Irene (!!!), I'm the one who asked how fast your car is. Call me."

 In order for me to call anyone, a major crises is going on at that moment, and I need some info straight away. This was witnessed by one tire pressure go to guy today, since everyone else seemed to be asleep. Sorry for waking you up, btw. I have no idea who they are, but apparently men buy these things to get ladies, and a female buying one is needing a man fast.

As a general rule, I see not cheating on your spouse as the main one to hold a relationship in reign. I now have a trash bag in the car just for these, since the eco mental in me refuses to throw trash to the ground.

I highly doubt anyone will call to anyone who touches their car, I certainly will not, if scratches are not found.

Anyway, I had one more stop on my way from Sioux Falls to home, and that will be an other story to share.

The road

Sometimes driving is the only thing to give me the clarity to think things trough. Sometimes a long stretch in front of me brings me the relief of free thinking that often eludes me in the real world. That happened yesterday too, and three things were discovered.

1. I hate meth heads. Two idiots didn't like my car or me behind the wheel and it was so close people didn't get killed and Peter trashed, I still can't believe I got away from that one. I'm pretty happy about my ability to act first, shake and go trough the emotions later. I don't know what exactly was their motive, but I sure as hell know only the turbos saved my ass on that one. Thanks Peter II, you will never have to get the American shitty petrol in you for this.

2. The M4 handles side winds really well. I had the time and the open roads to test this, and of course I didn't go faster than the speed limit, which I kind of translated to kph's and then just kept my eyes on the mileometer.  Worked just fine, didn't feel like a bad ass let loose trashing your roads at all.

3. I will never calculate my average speed again.

Here are the pictures from yesterday.

 When they say it's raining in Indiana, it's a flood. I've seen a lot of weather, but this was a bitch. Speeds went down nicely though.

Sun set in and we watched it together with Peter II, I cussed like a sailor when I realized my favorite thing in the world, driving at night will be fucked again by the lights, and I swore I'd find a person to trade the idiot edition leds to norms. 

Now, the people who have met me have had people sending them Pm's about pics of me, what I look like. I think that's just bloody stupid, it should not matter. For the life of me, I can't remember caring for shit for looks of anyone, but here is how bad it gets after a ten hour drive and 2 hours slept the night before.

Stop asking my friends for shit they will never give out. There is a reason why they are my friends.

My time at car forum is at an end, I think. I get enough shit in real life, and this blog plus the thread of notes have just made it hard to see the good people as I used to see. We'll see.

I have two nights on the road left, and a summary to write. Then it's a life of new adventures.

Indianapolis

In my everyday life, I have to be in control always. I have to know what I'm doing, when, I have schedules that would make the busiest of you cry, and the list of responsibilities is sometimes too much even for me.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life, but every once in a while it is much.

For the last 4 nights Peter and I have been sleeping mostly, first was the the Arch city and two days of rest, trying to regroup. Then I kind of got at it with Candy again, and just decided that it's not worth it, she can lead. We went back to Indiana. Indianapolis to be exact.

I got us places to park (well that's how I see hotels) and I went for a pint and after the idiot pilot crew gave up ("What happens in the road, stays on the road with us, so why not with you too" Ummmm, I was polite trying to explain to grown ass men that I'm not with the one I'm with to get my kicks from cheating on him, I'm with him because I want to be there. Fucking idiot American men.), I met one of the weirdest men I've ever known.

Stu, if you ever read this, yes, it's you!

At some times in life you find someone you can talk to, and unlike therapist, the open conversation about life happens with no barriers, no time limit. We walked for miles trough the downtown of Indianapolis (never ever will I be able to pronounce that one), he and I shared an interest in the same stupid things like plants and wildlife, we talked about life and loss.

 

I think this part of America took a big hit whit us Europeans coming here. Apparently this is how it was before us, and now the whole state looks like a corn field it is.

Turtles in the sun, we envied them for getting to go to the water, though the water might have killed us humans. 

 Funny memorial statue. I think one has to be European to laugh at that, but I indeed did.

To me, it's a complete rarity to tell anyone what's going on with me, and how different events affected me. How different people and their doings affect me. Sometimes it's just so darn good to learn to let go a little, and say out loud all the things that went down wrong, right and most of all, what the future is going to bring.

 Thank you Stu, I hope we meet again and never lose the ability to say fuck the facades!


Now, my deeply confusing and consuming day took an other turn in the evening, a storm hit Indianapolis, and afterwards the city smelled to clean and pure, I decided to take Peter II for a spin. After pealing respectable amount of rubber to the roads, since the ankle is starting to feel pretty darn good, and with that also the control of the clutch is getting better, Lups did what Lups does the best, fucked up in a way only I can.


There is a time and a place for everything. I love gloating more than anything when it comes to cars, since the real car fans get so pissed, and the rest don't care. I was pulling in the hotel, and a man with a 328i decided to destroy his rim in front of me. I laughed so hard, I actually said how the fuck can anyone be that much of an idiot, and less than 1 minute later, I was looking at this.

I did the same thing in the exact same spot, and I could not stop laughing, karma is such a bitch at times. Unlike the 328 driver, I couldn't sleep till I had a way to fix this, so I texted every soul I know in Indiana, with not many cuss words told what had happened, and got an address for the morning. Peter II and I were going to hit the road to maybe west, but I couldn't let him go to the road looking like an idiot had driven him.

After coffee, I called the firm recommended and pulled into their parking lot. After few tears, bitching and moaning, they let me wander around the facility to see how bad other people have done this, and thank you all, it helped a lot!

Bad picture but all my horrible work disappeared with those guys, and let's be honest, it wasn't even that bad to begin with. Peter and I were ready do serious miles.

St Louis

I took a break from the road, stayed two nights at the same place, ate a food with a salad, slept, and most of all rested. Soon car wash and off to the road I go.

Candy has ideas, and I have none, so let's see in the evening where the road took me.

I have to say this, that the staff in hotels have been so badly treated by the customers, that a little kindness gets me just about everything. I've never paid for a breakfast on this trip, since someone always gives me a ticket for it. I've never been without the best parking place, and in many hotels the valets go and check on Peter on their breaks, just to see if the cones they have in many places put around it, are still there.

My favorite one was Pete, a 50+ man, who really needed just a few kind words, and he took his break just to show me how to get to a shop last night. One of the drivers of this hotel went trough the trouble of driving to the Arch just to see how bad the roads are there so I wouldn't mess up Peter II. That's true kindness and it doesn't even go to the blond perk category, since it's just people returning a favor.


So next time when you feel like being mean to the people you see as the ones that will never mean anything to you, remember that in all of my life I have had more help from the people that most just ignore. Most people just want to be above the rest, and with that attitude condemn themselves at least in my eyes as the lowest scum on earth.

Kansas City

So it turns out, I didn't make it there. Candy and I had a little bit of a different view in the direction again, and today I'll just play tourist in the ST Louis. For the first time I booked the hotel room for two nights, just to keep myself off the roads.

For a Finn, this city is an exciting one. The Gateway Arch was designed by one of my favorite architects of all times, and today I'm going all touristy. I will update this after going to see the riots, if I live trough it.

The AMG bloke I drove with for a bit in the start of Peter and my joined life apparently wrote about the meet too. It translated into a complete mess by google, and the pictures are already here, so I don't think I'll bother with the link.

That can be found there, and all I know is the exclamation marks probably are there to point out that hey he saw a female car geek.

Hell of hotel life

I can take a lot. I usually care a little when people try their best to annoy the living hell out of me, but what I can't take is screaming females.

Ladies, it's really annoying, if you can't stfu, please just at least try to do that when others are not around.

Every hotel for the last few days have been ran over by bachelorette (or what ever the word is ) parties. I understand, last night of freedom and all but just bloody hell tone it down!

Yesterday I had the pleasure of going into an elevator with a group of these, and the ride was not long, but but my ears were bleeding in the end. While exiting, I asked them how old they are, and because I have a tendency to try to fix world problems (and I like being a bitch), after one of them asked me why I wanted to know, I just told her nicely that I know hell now, since spending time with you was it.

I know it's  a lot to ask, but for once ladies, just for fucking once: Speak, laugh, have fun, don't scream your head of as the answer to everything. It is really frustrating to the rest of us, and WE (I) want to keep the image of smart ladies even if it indeed is an image only.

Oh, even in this town/ city which name I don't remember, it's pointless to come after me with the whole I'm four times wider than you, I'll kick your ass thing. I'm not backing down, so just come on then!

Group photo of the hens.

The things you notice here are the amount of churches. This one was located handily at a deer crossing. Didn't go in and check, but there is a chance they get their population to put underground from the deer. Sneaky church folks. I have no idea where that photo was taken from, I think I was still stuck in traffic in Atlanta. 

The hotel didn't have parking spots that were safe unless you valeted (or what ever the form of the word is). This is the brave valet who jumped in after trying to get the keys from me for a while. The conversation about letting him drive it was a short and to the point kind again.


Anyway, going downstairs to get coffee and the name of the town/ city. I forgot it.


As an update: Ladies, eye rolling? Really? I still don't give a fuck. Just stay as quiet as you were today with your hangovers, and I'm happy and won't bite.

Karussell meet II

Yes I got there! Of course I didn't get to the right house, but I blame the house number system here, and he hid his red car so well and was only waving on the yard, how was I to notice?

Anyway, the thing is, I really do meet the coolest of the cool. Unfortunately  my great skills with human interactions also makes sure I do first impressions well!

So there he was, on his own lawn listening to an endless rant about the crew in my car. I think it was safe to say he was glad to jump behind the wheel of Peter just to hurry to get to dinner, so I could be silenced.

First thing about guys like him you notice is how calm they are. He knows his shit, no need to act at all. This is funny, since most people (me) are all ego, and that's all we have to give. Him, calm.

It took him two seconds to fix my tiny side ways problem, and I can't believe how much of an idiot I had been.

Peter, on his first service never left my presence. I went to the back with him and all. The only time it got out of my sight was Lups had her coffee, and that's when the tires were done. Needless to say, I didn't check, I've only been complaining about those, and no, never did anything about it. Anyway, after deflating them he gave me a lecture about not letting BMW dealers touch the tires, Anna's ego was a bit bruised and off we went.

Meeting a car dude who knows his shit was going well as you can see. I give him the full credit on keeping his calm at all times, apparently someone else has been worse than I. Thank you, who ever you are. Just Thank You.

You know the dude has hung out with Finns before when even for a burger the place is named like this. Even better, he let me eat his jalapenos so I was in heaven.

***WARNING!!! I HADN'T HAD COFFEE BEFORE WRITING THIS AND YOU BLOODY PERVS POINTED THAT OUT ALREADY. I'M TALKING ABOUT ABOUT A G E A R K N O B, AND I READ IT ALREADY, IT TRANSLATED REALLY BADLY.. The only reason I don't fix this or erase it is because I can't help it. I just love complete fuckups. *** have your laugh, I sure as hell did. Lets just see how understanding man I have in my life then.


We had dinner, I took him back to his house he trashed everything from my seating position to my careless style to steer,and I just loved it. I actually tried to learn something Karussell, I had two hands on the wheel at least 4 times on my way back. The dude knows his shit, and every tip gotten will be remembered and I truly had the time of my life, thanks J.

We went in to make coffee, and he showed me this knob. Needless to say, it had to be tested. In my life, I have done a lot. I have never before taken a gear knob to a test drive. as sure as hell that was one of the funniest situations in a long time. For two adults to do that, stupid. Two bimmer fan boys (I'm mainly man anyway, so why mention options), normal stuff.

 

 GA is apparently a place with the only icing bridges in the world.  I couldn't believe this, but every bloody bridge had this sign on it.

 You can take a nap or text your life's story around here before coming to a corner, and even then you are indeed safe, there will be many, many many MANY traffic signs pointing out beforehand that this unicorn like thing is coming your way.

 At least I can't get lost if I find the right road for once!

The sunset on the way back was beautiful.  I have lost most of my voice thanks to Candy, so I slowed down to admire it. Going fast results to shouting to idiots who don't keep out of my lane!

On my way back Karussell texted me the number of an other Atlanta based F8x dudes number. Had to contact him, since I really wanted to take this picture. I went to check in, and met him at the garage, and sure as hell it seems M3 people still go with their own style of parking.

You know you need therapy, when after a long day the best thing ever is to go trough the adaptive headlights and finally get to say that I FUCKING HATE THEM! I hope they work better after the coding, but as of now, they are useless crap, and putting on the adaptive feature is suicidal since you end up driving without high beams in situations you really would need to see your way. I'm so happy I didn't have those in the cars I build,  their present owners can send me coffee as thanks any time.

Soccerdad sure as hell changed my view of Texans enough that I just might head out there now. Actually, as far as I know, I'm to only dick driving one of these. Actually, the further south I've traveled, more real people get. North is starting to feel like the health and safety warning dump zone and I really do not miss that.

... Then last night at 3 am I went to get stuff from the car, and this was going on...


Thanks Georgia, and Tennessee, I truly had the time of my life.